...

hands are shaking.
palms are sweating.
and so does the armpit.
many had gone through this thing.
just different situation, different timezone, different civilization.
the roman army had faced it.
world war II army, sergeant, general, and mostly everyone had faced it.
famous football player had faced it, while in the field, before taking the penalty, and etc etc..

but for me, none of things mentioned above had similarity with me, just that sweating parts is the same, i guess so.
why?
don't ask.
I'm too afraid to talk bout this.
10 years preparation won't help if suddenly my mind goes blur, when I'm facing the 'event'.
what 'event'?
don't ask.

okay, final exam is coming..

the Project Paper

Jamal take a deep breath, a very, very deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. "dude, this is a very good and peaceful place to do our work, its like nothing here could interrupt us",said Jamal. Ron replied,"ya right, being away from technology is actually a bad idea, its like we are stuck in some forest without any single thing that has to do with outside world, just to do that stupid assignment?". Jamal walk slowly, leaving Ron and said " at least there is nothing here that could distract us from doing that stupid work, which happens to be our most important work that will decide on our grades!". Ron ran and join walk beside Jamal, and they arrived at an old house, where it is actually belongs to Syed, Jamal's uncle. "We gonna stay here for three days?", asked Ron. "Oh yes", Jamal replied.

There were enough food for them in that house, but there were no electricity, and there water supply is 100% depends on the well, which Ron totally hates. "No cellphones, no computers, so how are we gonna do our work, professor Jamal!?". "Relax dude, just write it, just write it, the lecturer prefer handwriting, so that is what she gonna get from us". Jamal continue, "but please write it nicely".


*********************************************

They managed to finish their work, and today is their last day here, they will go back to college tomorrow. "Finally everything is finished, i cant wait to go back, first thing tomorrow morning!",said Ron. " I think we should do a barbecue tonight to celebrate it, and I'll cook!",said Jamal. "huh, the last time u cook, I had a nightmare for two days, in the toilet!", Ron being sarcastic and laugh. "oh come on, you don't want to be hungry, don't you?",Jamal replied to Ron's action. And so they had a very nice barbecue that night, a lovely meal prepared by Jamal.

Late at night, Ron wake up. He had a terrible stomachache and he really need to go to the toilet, but he knew that he need to get the water from the well, which he is very afraid to go, alone. He wakes Jamal, but Jamal was to tired and said," if you're afraid, just use the extra A4 paper in the blue bag to wipe, an don't disturb me anymore".

Ron try to find the Blue bag that Jamal mentioned, but it was too dark, and he just randomly grab and ran quickly to the toilet. It was a very quiet night, and Ron felt that something is not quite right. He knows that something is bugging in his mind, and he keeps thinking of all the stories that people told,especially the old folks when you have that kind of feeling, alone, at night. He try to ignore that feeling, and quickly leave the toilet after he had finished.

That night, Ron can't sleep, he still had the feeling, that something is not right, and he keeps thinking bout that, for hours, till he fall asleep.

***********************************************************

"NO!", Jamal screamed and Ron was awake when he heard that. He ran towards Jamal, and before he could ask what happen, he was terribly shocked. "no, no!". They both scream, scream out loud as they can, as they saw something that was horror, and things that anyone in the world would be shocked. They sat, and Ron starts to cry. He couldn't speak, and so was Jamal. They both cry, and scream, the whole forest could hear them screaming.

As they both watched their assignment, which is their final project paper, all smashed up with human waste which happen to be Ron's, they just sad and cry, as they were now, thinking about their future.

i want to be....

i want to be big.
i want to be something.
i want to be known,
where others might know nothing.
i want to be wealthy.
i want to be rich.
filling whats empty, with my own effort.
i want to be good.
i want to be cool.
i want to be GIANT.
i want to remembered.
before the end of life,
i want to be GIANT.
i want to be GIANT.
i want to be GIANT.
i used to be a fool.
i used to be ignored.
someday everything will be proved,
that i will be GIANT.
I'll came with something new,
I'll came with desire,
i want to be great,
i want to be GIANT.
mark these words...
mark these promises.
i wont be typical,
as everyone else does.
i will become huge.
huger than huge.
huger than you.
huger than them,
and everything else.
i will become greater,
i want to become greater.
i want to be GIANT.

I want to be GIANT~

KELANA JAYA

gigs.
classes.
friends.
exams.
quizzes.
assignments.
happy moment.
sad(yucks!) moment.
Kelab Jiwa Luka.
Restoran keluarga & Bala.
student lounge.
cyber cafe.
jamming.
and everything in between.

first came here, that was around 2006.
its 2010, and I'm still here.
counting time, days, years..
i cant wait to leave.
haha.
so called KELANA JAYA~

why so serious?

ignore all the bad things he did, try to think him as a person with a head full of genius plan, that creates chaos, trouble and give a terrible headache to one of the finest superheroes; BATMAN.

everyone think that he is crazy, where others who knew him very well, thinks he is very good indeed in creating problem to others, a mastermind in his own class, master criminal, and everything in between.

no one knows where he comes from, his past history, and everything about him remain mysterious as himself.

he does thing in his own way, his own style, his own wish. no super power, just being himself, is enough for him.
one of the greatest villain that i truly adore.
THE JOKER.

high fidelity.

For eight damn years, living a typical life as a normal people, he felt insanely unsatisfied. Considering his financial, Marvick had to ignore things such as following the nature of life; get up early, work his ass out, get back at evening and sometimes stays for some additional work, buy dinner at the very same restaurant, for eight years, eight damn years. He owns an apartment, a secondhand car, some savings in his account. That is good enough for him, he thinks.

"Marvick! Get your ass in my office, now!", Mr. Brown is his boss, and he will heard the same order from him, everyday. "Do you realize that Your paperwork is like a fuckin' six year old child?", Mr. Brown shouts, being sarcastic and mad, but Marvick knew that Mr. Brown just happen to hate every single thing that he did. "But I've did everything that you told me to, and I've been doing that for two days, it was supposed to be good enough", Marvick replied. "Good enough? are you kidding me? Do it all over again, I want it to be perfect! And pass it tomorrow!", said Mr. brown in anger.

It's 7.00pm, Marvick plans to re-do that pathetic work at home, so he head to his car, drive and he stop at the restaurant where he always bought his dinner. The reason that he keep coming and buy food here is not because of the food, but because of the pub next to it, where he always listen while waiting for his food from outside, a nice music work by whoever plays inside. He never had chance to walk in, due to his load amount of work.

While he was busy typing, suddenly someone slams a file to his desk. "What the hell were you thinking? This shit, is what you trying to give me?"."Listen here you punk, do it all over again,in half an hour, or you can get your ass off this company!",Mr. Brown yelled, like always. But this time, Marvick get up, some devil must get into him, where he can't actually control his kept anger, he throw a punch straight to Mr. Brown's nose. "I quit then!".

He was driving, and he stops at the restaurant, but when he pass the bar, he had a slight thought,"what the hell, I should grab some beer". "Rough day sir? Anything I can get for you?", asked the bartender. "A beer should be enough", Marvick replied. then the music starts playing, marvick listens, didn't face the stage but he enjoy the singing, the guitar works, as music has always been his passion.

After nine glass of beer, he think that he ought to go, but the music is still in play, so he waits. As soon as the singer stops, he pay his beer and head to the exit door. "Vick! Dude! It is you!", he heard from behind, but in his mind, he realize that no one had call him with that name, for eight years. " Jack!! Shit, I didn't see you like, 80,000 years!". They hugged, and Jack introduced his wife. " You've married that girl?", Marvick whispered to Jack. "Yup, and she happens to be the owner of this bar".

Three months after they met, Marvick and Jack were back again, and they played together. Doing what's best for them, what had been their passion from they were young, playing music. They create great sounds, entertain people, and they plan not to stop.

One night, just after they performed, a guy came to them and introduce himself as Ray, and he offer them a record deal. Marvick and Jack looked at each other, and smile.
And the rest, well you know the rest of the saying; is history.




***
"what really matters is what you like, not what you are like. Books, records, films... These things matter. Call me shallow. It's the fuckin' truth."
-Rob Gordon(John Cusack).

Little Black Dress

JANUARY 2005.
In a small town, right in the corner of street87, three young folks were performing a street acts. Playing musics, as what people called street busking in these days. Jack on guitar and he sing as well, Vick on trumpet and Rusty plays the bass. No permanent job, they keep it low-profile on the streets playing beautiful musics, from classic to modern rock. Sometimes they managed to gather lots of people, but sometimes there are none. As time goes by, they earned some money that is given by people who watch them, who might appreciate their sounds, or sympathize, they don't know, all they know is that they will keep on playing, regardless on what people thinks. First year for them on the streets.


JANUARY 2006.
The same corner, same line up, they keep on playing. It's been a year, but nothing much changed, at least for them. "Dude, I hate to say this but I think we should call it a quit, since we had no promised future if we continue doing this", Rusty voiced out. Others look at him, and they were in silenced, silent enough for them to think deeply what does really Rusty wanted to explain.

At the end of the day, there were quite a lot of people were watching them, who sing along and when they finished, Vick whispered slowly to jack, "Dude, at 9 o'clock, check out that chick with the black dress". Jack saw her and their eyes were staring each other. "I've saw her before", jack whispered back. That girl stayed until they were packing, ready to get back home. A little sweet voice heard from behind, "I love your music and your voice." Jack turn and it was that girl, with the black dress that Vick mentioned earlier.

The dress is quite small, little in other word, but it fits the girl perfectly. Jack stood still, he was speechless, and he was damn sure that the girl was talking to him. Five minute in silence, they stare at each other. waiting for a hopeless reply, the girl says, "goodbye, see you again." Quickly Vick shouted,"Dude, what are you doing?Nah it's okay,just don't blow up if you have a second chance okay?".

Second chance, that is all he needed, and it keeps running in his head for the whole night and another thing, what Rusty mentioned earlier keeps hitting his head too.


JANUARY 2007
Another year, same old town, but this time, there were only Jack and Vick. "I just can't believe that Rusty left us",Vick said in an unpleasant mood. Jack nod, as he can't agree more. It's been a year, but Jack remember clearly, everything that happened a year ago, at this very same day, the time when the girl with the black dress talk to him.
"You still waiting for her?", and Jack replied,"I just waited for my second chance, that's all."

The Girl never shows up since the last time they met.



JANUARY 2010
Now, there is only Jack. Doing the same thing that he does with his mates five years ago, delivering beautiful music. Deep inside, he still waits for what he believe in, and a thing that he wont forget most, the dress; black dress, the little black dress.
A second chance that he believe in, still, until now.


JANUARY 2015
Ten years and counting, Jack still waits.
The sound that he played remains beautiful, and so does his faith.

Ignoring time and pain, he waited patiently, to see the girl,
with the little black dress again..



*end